Bored Game
by Naria Lacour de Fanel
Summary: A questionably friendly game turns into something more...interesting.


Title:"Bored Game"

Fandom: Kuroshitsuji

Author: Naria Lacour de Fanel

Summary: Somehow a questionably friendly game turns into something a bit more...interesting.

Pairing: Implied SebastianxAgni

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, they are all the property of the mighty manga-ka Toboso Yana. Best. Manga. Ever.

Rating: R, for language and implied...things...

Warning: Implied mansex, uncomfortable situations, and abuse of a door.

A/N: This is what happens when fangirls look for any excuse for humiliation. Slight OOC.

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Ciel Phantomive, or, more correctly, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, the owner of the most successful toy-making/confectionary company in England, the notoriously ruthless child prodigy businessman, the official unofficial warden of the English underworld as ordained by Her Majesty, and commander of a most powerful and decidedly not human butler...was pouting. His life was not an easy one to live, and his present company made it somewhat more chaotic. It was more like his guest was needlessly tiresome, vexing, and exhausting, but, Ciel being the gentleman he was would never say such a thing...at least not to the Prince's face. Prince Soma of India was, to put it simply, a brat. He was a foreign noble used to being spoiled and doted upon, and he was blissfully ignorant of the desires of others. He relentlessly annoyed Ciel during his lessons (and life in general) simply to relieve his own boredom. It took much persuading on Sebastian's part to get Soma to leave Ciel be. And when Ciel finally had the time to spare in frivolity, and he chose to spend said time placating his restless guest, the Prince had the audacity to turn down the offered game of poker. Earl Phantomhive was in a sour mood the rest of the evening.

Soma, in his infinite generosity and patience, did, however, decide to take on Ciel's offer of a game of poker...the next night...during supper. Ciel's permanent frown only grew deeper. But, being ever the gentleman (and his gentlemanly nature was grating on his patience), Ciel would not rescind the offer even though it was a somewhat retarded response. (Take that as you will.) Of course, it could not be a typical game of poker between two well meaning friends with nothing but amusement as the goal. Soma and Ciel were not friends, and never would be if either of them had their way. This was a flatout challenge. A testing of their respective skills in the ancient art of bullshittery. Stakes were needed. And for such a challenge, these young nobles could never wager something as paltry as money or goods. They each had plenty of both. No, the only suitable wager in their case was pride. And, of course, it wasn't really their pride on the line. They were far too valuable to harm themselves in ANY way. And so, Agni and Sebastian found themselves bemoaning their fate as loyal butlers to their respective masters. They sighed in unison as their masters callously wagered their bodies...literally. Somehow a (questionably) friendly game had degenerated into a primitive competition of male dominance. The game: strip poker. The stakes: the butlers. The prize: winner's butler gets to top.

Ciel wasn't sure of how, when, or even WHY he had agreed to these rules (probably incited by Soma carrying on about various sensual arts the prudish English could never dream of...)but it was what they had agreed upon and he could not back down in good conscience. That, and he knew he could never let that spoiled Prince think he could ever beat the Phantomhive household, modesty be damned!

Cards were dealt, hands were played, and clothing was lost.

Fortunately for themselves, the boys were quite good in their bluffing. Both butlers were down to one last article of clothing and this next hand would decide the winner. They should have known it would come down to this...Sebastian and Agni both smiled placatingly to their masters, Agni because he wanted to, Sebastian because he was trying to resist throttling his master. If looks could kill, Ciel would have been incinerated on the spot. But, their contract forbade that sort of behavior, so Sebastian just grinned menacingly and decided to bear it with as much dignity as was possible in such a situation...which wasn't much considering he was wearing only a black (of course) union suit*. Though, comparing his undergarments to Agni's scanty loincloth, Sebastian did feel a little better.

The final call.

Soma grinned triumphantly as nealry bounced out of his set to lay down his hand.

"Straight flush, diamonds," he purred in his exotic accent, a satisfied smirk on his lips. Ciel frowned heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. Soma's grin only grew wider.

"Oh," Ciel sighed. "I don't know how I'll ever beat that..."

The Prince looked expectantly at the black butler. Sebastian merely smiled politely.

"...with this measly royal flush," the count drawled, dropping his hand onto the table. "Spades."

Soma's face instantly fell, and Ciel returned the satisfied smirk.

"I do believe that makes me the victor, your Majesty." Ciel beamed as he relaxed back into his chair, resting his elbows on his thighs and wrapping a hand around his knuckled fist.

Soma scowled and snapped his fingers. A blush crept across Agni's face as he undid the complicated wrapping of his loincloth. Ciel snickered and Soma pouted. Finally, Agni tossed the cloth into the pile of his other clothes on the floor, held his hands behind his back, and kept his head slightly bowed, eyes shut and his face still quite red. Ciel was too contented basking in his victory to notice the quiet and heavy atmosphere.

"Well, get to it, butler!" Soma suddenly barked at Sebastian, obviously not happy with the outcome of the game. "He is yours for the night!"

Agni's head dropped a little lower, and Ciel snapped out of his gloating mood.

"What?! Here?!" the Earl sputtered sitting up, his face instantly flushing. The Black Butler merely shrugged and took a step forward, but was stopped by his master's hand blocking the way.

"Well, of course here, shorty**!" Soma nearly growled. "How else are we to be sure our 'arrangement' is carried out?"

"But, that wasn't part of the bet!" Ciel cried, trying to hide his embarassment. Soma latched onto the boy's discomfort faster than a Chinaman to opium, and his good mood returned instantly. The Prince smiled evilly.

"Oh?" he murmured sarcastically. "Don't tell me you've never watched others engage in the sensual arts?"

The boy's scowl returned full force as he glared at the foreigner across the table. Some of it's wrath was lost in the bright blush overtaking his face.

"I assure you, it's quite educational as well as entertaining," Soma quipped, a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

"Regardless," Ciel grit out. "I do not wish to be present while they..." he hesitated. "...carry out...our agreement."

"Then how do we know they will have done it? I trust Agni to carry out my wishes, but your butler has a way of...shall we say, finding ways around?"

"You're sharper than you seem," Earl Phantomhive murmured. "But he will do as he is ordered."

"Well, you've ordered him to do nothing," the foreigner observed. "This bet has all been assumed so far, shorty!"

Ciel visibly paled.

Earl Phantomhive looked up to Sebastian's politely smiling face as he patiently awaited orders. Ciel couldn't be sure if his servant's expression was genuinely benevolent, or if he was hiding thoughts and intentions of revenge...and Sebastian had been known to find ways to be spiteful... It seemed stange to the boy that a man dressed only in his undergarments could seem so imposing! He did not want to do this...It was awkward to say the least. Ordering his butler to-! With another man-! Because of a poker game nonetheless! But if he didn't order Sebastian to, then he would look the fool to Soma. This bet was all about pride, and dammit, he could not lose because of his engrained English prudishness! He opened his mouth to give the order.

"S-Sebastian," he began, the full blush back on his Prince began chuckling under his breath, Sebastian leaned in closer to his master.

"Y-you are to-" Soma smiled wider, Agni tried to be invisible, and a vein throbbed on Sebastian's forehead.

"Fetch me a pen and paper," he anticlimactically finished. Sebastian nodded and left. Soma deflated, a frown on his lips again.

"Well, you're no fun," he pouted at the boy.

"Yes, well, not all of us revel in vulgarity!" Ciel snapped.

"There's nothing vulgar about-"

"Hush! I don't want to hear it!"

"But-"

"No!" Ciel held up a quieting finger just as Sebastian returned with a sheaf of paper and a pen and placed both in front of his master. The Earl seemed to ponder for a moment before quickly writing down something. The Prince kept trying to distract and interrupt him with insults, but much to Soma's chagrin, Ciel pointedly ignored the lewd comments spewing from his mouth. The boy finished his writing with a sigh, folded the sheaf in half, and called his butler over to hand him the paper.

"You are to take Agni with you to one of the empty guest rooms and do as these instructions say," Ciel plainly stated, a small shudder running down his spine. "I will take care of myself for bed." He spared a healthy glare at Soma. This discomfort, awkwardness, and inconvenience was all HIS doing!

"Yes, my Lord," Sebastian replied with a bow, still feeling quite ridiculous in his undergarments...but that would be remedied soon enough. The Black Butler simply tucked the note away, walked over to poor Agni (who had finally resorted to covering himself with his hands) and offered his arm. "Shall we retire for the evening?" Sebastian politely asked.

The foreign butler cast a questioning glance to his master, who nodded calmly in reply.

"You are to do as he wants," Soma murmured, a reassuring tone in his voice. The servant visibly relaxed.

Agni looked up at Sebastian with a smile, a quick nod, and took the offered arm. The boys watched as their butlers left the room arm in arm, then turned back to each other. A sly grin crept across the Prince's lips.

"Well, you may not want to watch, but I do!" he chirped and sped off after the two men.

Ciel chuckled to himself. "I thought as much."

____________________________________________________________

"I order you to take your hands off me!" the Prince spat. All known dignity gone as he hung like a sack of flour at the butler's side as the dark man carried him to the opposite end of the house.

"My apologies, your Majesty, but I am under the direct orders of my master."

"He told you to kick me out?!"

"I am not at liberty to say," Sebastian smoothly replied. Soma continued to try and struggle out of the butler's grasp, but to no avail. Kicking, scratching, thrashing, even biting! No matter what he did, Sebastian either countered or tolerated it. Finally he gave up as the walk dragged on. Then, quite suddenly, he was unceremoniously dumped onto a bed, quickly follwed by an irate Ciel screaming in his face!

When did that happen?!

"Get out! Get out, you fool!" the boy yelled, shoving Soma to the floor. "What are you doing in my room?!"

"Good night, young Lords," Sebastian's voice echoed. And he was nowhere to be seen.

That was interesting...The puzzled Prince suddenly had to duck as Ciel jumped over his head in a dead run for the door. The boy tugged and pulled and pushed but the door would not budge. Ungentlemanly obscenities flew from his mouth at record speed, and Soma was quite amused as he watched the normally calm boy succumb to his own childish rage. He watched as Ciel repeatedly screamed for Sebastian to "Open the damn door" followed by a one sided argument that centered around Ciel mentioning a contract and just how Sebastan could use it in painful ways in certain orfices. And Soma had thought Earl Phantomhive to be dull and prudish! The boy progressively grew more frustrated, but eventually began to calm down as he was exhausting himself. The Earl briefly turned away from the door only to see the Prince wave at him from the floor, and his battle with the door began with renewed vigor and even more colorful insults!

Soma laughed. Ciel Phantomhive was one interesting boy.

"Want to play poker, shorty?" the Prince smiled sarcastically as he produced a deck of cards from his tunic. Ciel groaned in frustration as he futiley clawed at the door.

It was going to be a long night.

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The sun rose, the birds sang, and Ciel woke to his butler with his typical serving tray...and a sleeping Indian Prince curled around his waist! The Earl yelled and tumbled Soma out of the bed with a well placed kick.

"Good morning, master," Sebastian smirked. "For breakfast this morning-"

"Why didn't you let me out, Sebastian?!" Ciel yelled, interrupting the butler, keeping a foot on Soma's head for good measure.

"I cannot say in the Prince's presence," Sebastian smiled, motioning to the heap of sleepy royalty on the floor.

"Then take him out!" Ciel blustered. "Put him in the hallway! Give him to Agni! I don't care!"

"Yes, my Lord," the butler bowed and disappeared with the groggy Soma. He returned moments later and went back to serving the master's breakfast, acting as if teleporting was nothing unusual. Ciel glared at him expectantly.

"To answer your question, master, you ordered me to effectively restrain the Prince. When he is in your presence he is always amused and therefore likely to stay in one place. He was effectively restrained. Afterall, one knows the least restraint is the best restraint."

"You didn't have to lock the door."

"It simply precaution if, perhaps, he decided he wanted to wander about."

"You certainly didn't have to board up the windows!"

"The Prince is known to be quite tenacious. I could not risk him sneaking out of a second story window."

"There were OTHER methods!"

"Yes, but none that would have ended well diplomatically. Keeping a friendly relationship with our guests is quite beneficial. I am looking out for your best interest, after all."

"I didn't sleep at all!" Ciel groaned in loathing memory. "How is that looking out for my best interest?!"

"Oh?" Sebastian questioned, slight interest in his voice. "And how did his Majesty keep you awake?"

Ciel gave his servant one last angry glare, and finally gave up. He knew perfectly well why Sebastian had done what he had, and it was infuriating to have his orders turned on him...just as Soma had guessed the Black Butler would do. Sebastian certainly did 'have ways around', and he most definitely did when it came to making a fool of his young master. Ciel would think twice before wagering his servant like that again... The boy sighed and frowned.

"After I refused to play poker, he decided to regale me with tales of his princely deeds...until dawn!" the boy said, rolling his eyes. "And he says I should feel honored for having heard them."

"As you should, master," the butler smirked. "You can learn many things from their culture. I certainly did."

"I don't want to know! Don't even insinuate! I just want to forget this whole mess ever happened," Ciel snapped irritably. "Now, pour me some tea!"

"Yes, my Lord," Sebastian smirked and poured his master a cup of morning tea.

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Once the Prince overcame his confusion at somehow having been dumped into his servant's lap when he had just been in Ciel's room, he instantly became irritated at said servant.

"Why didn't you stop him from carting me off?!" he suddenly piped up. Agni, who was also confused...and still naked (though that didn't seem to bother his master)...attempted to gather his bearings. It was difficult considering the circumstances.

"Who...?"

"That devilish servant of shorty's! Why didn't you stop him from dragging me away?!" Soma suddenly took on a thoughtful expression. "Though he did lock me in with the kid all night, which was beyond hilarious...but that's not the point! Why didn't you stop him from manhandling me?!"

Agni couldn't respond immediately, and he merely blinked as he slowly processed the information. He shook off the initial thoughts that came to mind (namley of the disastrous effects of Earl Phantomhive and the Prince locked together in a confined space for a whole night) and tried to grasp the answer to his master's question.

"Agni!" Soma demanded. Agni jumped and grasped for reason.

"W-well, your Majesty, I think he was under orders to move you away from our...um... 'goings on' and to keep you away..."he said, a slight tone of confusion in his voice.

"And that stopped you how?" the Prince questioned intensely.

"You ordered me to do as he wanted," Agni humbly answered. "His master's wants are his wants as well, and I beleive the Earl did not want you to...er...watch. So I let him do as he wanted and he moved you away..."

Soma looked at him questioningly. Agni politely bowed his head. "I hope I have not failed in serving my Prince," he murmured.

"No, you have done well! You followed my orders, and that is all I ever ask of you," Soma said affectionately. "I believe I know how shorty feels most of the time now, having my orders turned on me."

"My apologies, master," Agni said.

"None needed. It was my own fault! You can hardly be blamed for my lack of forethought!" the Prince boldly stated, inappropriate pride saturating each word. "But I wonder...Just what were that devil's orders? What did that note say?"

Agni motioned to the note on a bedside table. The Prince scrambled out of his servant's lap and dove for it. He nearly ripped it in half pulling it open to read!

'Sebastian,

You are to forcibly remove Soma from the near vicinity and maintain his absence during these orders. Once you have effectively restrained the Prince, you are to copulate/fornicate/mate with Agni in whatever way would be most appropriate for two HUMAN males to do so. You are not to irreparably harm, maim, or otherwise bring intentional pain to Agni during or after, and you are to prevent any pain if possible. Do not consume his soul at any point! You are never to divulge any details to the Prince if he asks. You are to resume your regular duties in the morning.'

"Silly Ciel, thinking he is so clever," Soma chuckled to himself. "He can't control what MY servant does...So, tell me Agni, just how did Sebastian copulate/fornicate/mate with you?"

Agni turned beet red.

"And I expect full details..." the Prince purred.

~fin~

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! XD Oh, man, I crack myself up sometimes...Who knows, I might write what happened between Agni and Sebastian someday!!

*Union Suits were the common undergarments of the British during the Victorian era. Think long johns. They covered eveything but the hands, feet, and everything from the neck up. AND they had a convenient bum flap for "neccesities". X3 I actually agonized over what kind of underwear Sebastian would have. He strikes me as the "going commando" type being a demon and all, but that wouldn't be fun for strip poker, so I thought "Boxers!" Pretty silky BLACK boxers...and then I actually did some research on the history of men's undergarments (yeah, I'm a freak...) and found that boxers didn't become the standard until the 1930's! WOW! Then I figured Sebastian would try his best to fit in with society and voila! Union suit...in black...because he's Sebastian! And seeing in my mind an indignant Sebastian with a look of positive loathing for his master, standing in the middle of the parlor in long johns was just too funny! He's too dignified for a bum flap!XD

**"shorty." I decided on using this nickname because Soma has a habit of calling Ciel "chibi" or "chibi-tan" (something to that effect) which super roughly translates as "super deformed". Chibi is commonly used to refer to short characters in a somewhat insulting way (as Edward Elric knows all too well) so I decided on "shorty" since it seemed the best choice in the scanlated manga so far!

Yes, sorry, I made the characters a little OOC...Ciel is more surly and asanine than usual. But, wouldn't you freak out and lose your composure at the prospect of spending a whole night locked in a room with the person you see as most the annoying in the universe?! I made Soma a little smarter because we all know he's got more going on than just his brat prince act! And Sebastian talks more. But, hey, I love it when he's a total snide ass! XD


End file.
